gambled i would lose

i'm in ur belly, wavin at u an stuff

it's a.... lolfetus!  i know i should get a real scanner but taking pictures of pictures with my iphone seems to be working out ok-ish so far.

we had the nuchal translucency screening this week, which is where they do an ultrasound and measure various things, including this space at the back of the baby's neck, to screen for genetic things like various trisomies.

ok the first ultrasound was awesome because there was a heartbeat!  and a little nub of a baby starting to grow!  but this ultrasound was awesome because now it can MOVE.  it kind of jumps every few seconds.  and it swims around! it's like some kind of genius fetus!

the tech said everything looked good.  official results won't be in until next week.  this screening was completely optional for us but omg, i'm not going to turn down an ultrasound!  we were hoping that maybe we'd get a peek between its wee legs but no such luck - and the tech said even if we did, we couldn't be sure what it meant, since at 12 weeks boys and girls look pretty much the same down there.

during the ultrasound i tried to associate the movements with some kind of sensation... those butterflies/bubbles that first movements are supposed to feel like.  but it's too early.  i should be feeling movement in about a month or so.  anyway i have successfully made it through the first trimester.  my sense of impending doom is fading, replaced by... a different sense of impending doom because oh crap, this is really, actually likely to end in an actual baby that we will have to raise to adulthood.

not impressed

before the wedding, we knew that we would start trying to get pregnant right away.  so a few months before, i made an appointment for a pre-conception checkup at my ob-gyn.  one of my concerns was that i never had chickenpox as a child, even after being exposed.  always in the back of my head is the slight fear that i'll get it, and it will be baaaaad, because i am an adult.  i've read stories of lesions down people's mouths and throats and on internal organs.  not good!

but worse, even, for the pregnant lady.  either congenital varicella syndrome or neonatal varicella infection could result, depending on timing.  so of course i had the blood test, which i hoped would tell me that i had a mild case at some point, didn't know it, and am immune.  heck, around 95% of adults ARE immune.  no such luck.  so i went ahead and got the vaccine - it's two injections a month apart, and insurance doesn't cover it so i paid out of pocket.

well, i went in for my second ob appointment today.  everything was great, we heard the heartbeat on the fetal doppler, and there's an ultrasound (squee!) scheduled for tomorrow for nuchal translucency screening.

"there's just one thing," the physician's assistant said as i sat down on the table.  "all your blood work came back normal, but it does indicates that you are not immune to the chicken pox."

merck, i want my money back?

"that's so weird," says the PA.  "i mean... that's really weird."

yeah, it is.

yay!

In contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that an individual’s capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation, and, more generally, that an individual’s sexual orientation — like a person’s race or gender — does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights.  We therefore conclude that in view of the substance and significance of the fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship, the California Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to all Californians, whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well as to opposite-sex couples.

someday... someday, this stupidly obvious point will be made everywhere, for every state constitution AND the federal one.

my secret hope

so the universal pregnancy symptom seems to be sore boobs, even more so than the upchucking.  i have not upchucked once, and in fact the nausea seems to have gone away completely (but it has not yet entirely returned my appetite in its place.)  (except for my appetite for fish sticks with malt vinegar, which is limitless.)

i do not have sore boobs.  at all.  haven't at any point.

i secretly hope this means that breastfeeding will be magically easy and painless.  that all that hard nursing stuff will just... not happen like the sore boobs didn't happen.  because my boobs are extra special and awesome! right?  ok, don't answer that, internet, because i know where your mind is.

10 weeks down, 30 to go

baby is 25% completed.  i have started feeling a little better, not that i was feeling that bad to begin with.  i need fewer naps.  i have more energy.  (the laundry!  it is done!  and put away!) my appetite is a little more stable (but just a little.)  i still haven't thrown up, although i have gagged a few times randomly.  at this point i should typically be through the worst of it, so my optimism about the mildness of my morning sickness does not seem to have been misplaced.

my belly kind of popped out a little bit all of a sudden.  i have never been a flat-tummied kind of girl but i used to be able to suck it in to a relatively flat position and now i can't.  i can't stop looking at it, like it's going to - POP! - grow into a big giant pregnant belly right before my eyes.

in knitting news:

i am working on finishing a sweater that i've been working on forever.  i want to start knitting baby things (not to mention a chemo cap) but if i start that stuff now i will never, ever finish the sweater (which i call in my head Boring Stockinette Sweater, and which will be the first sweater i ever complete once i finish the sleeves.  i'm about 80% done with sleeve 1.)

i have a whole book on baby blankets, and maybe i'll pick one from there but i'm also looking at this one: