let me begin by apologizing. i am in a foul, foul mood.
some of you know how important precision in language is to me. for example, it bothers me when word pairs like 'authentication/authorization' or 'precision/accuracy' are used interchangably. they do not mean the same thing. it bothers me when people say 'far and few between' when they mean 'few and far between' because the words actually mean something, dipshits! listen to what you are saying, pay the slightest bit of attention, and you will know in what order the words should go. it also bugs me when imprecise metaphors are adopted by the general population and absorbed into their psyche as reality. i understand the benefits of abstraction, but an abstraction which misrepresents the underlying reality is worse than useless.
this tends to happen disproportionally often in the world of information technology.
i can draw you pictures and explain to you in words what computers actually do, if you like. it's not fucking magic.
you know what? i'm tired of this topic. i had planned on expounding, but fuck it.
ennui: \en'nui"\, n. a feeling of weariness and disgust; dullness and languor of spirits, arising from satiety or want of interest; tedium.
why, yes. that's just the word; quite.
at lunch today i just decided not to be the conversation-starter-upper-or-keeper-upper. i just sat there until someone else said something. it took a really damn long time. they all had salads. i had none. i sat there staring off into space while they munched their salads and said nothing. i'm tired. i am tired tired tired. i am tired of doing all the damn work when it comes to social interaction. fuck everything. the world can come find me if it wants me.
ok, the bitterness and depression is getting a bit old. something please please happen. i'd like a fire drill. or a bomb scare. or a tornado. i need a little disaster today. i'd like to feel a bit of schadenfreude.
not everything sucks. most things suck today. but at least i'm in love. that's nice. that can make me smile today. it's a wistful, non-energetic smile, but it's a smile. that's something. i'm like fucking eeyore today. thanks for noticing. at least we get to leave 'precisely at 5' because dan wants to go to the gym.
in case you are wondering, this post is oddly structured because i've been going at it all day in notepad.
man, fuck this. no one wants to see this shit. i shouldn't even post it, but i will anyway, because at least i'll feel like i got something done.